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Cheers to a guilt-free 2016! (LOL, J/K!)

It’s 2016 and I have a 10-month-old! He is freakin adorable and generally incredibly happy and healthy. He crawls, he eats an amazing amount of solids (yay baby led weaning) and he’s quite the social butterfly. But holy crap, the issues/concerns/guilt/worry just never stops, does it? This is going to be going on until he’s 40, right?

In between the smiles, cuddles and giggles, here’s a rundown of our last month or so, in rough chronological order –

November

  • Extreme drop in my milk supply, which means an extra pumping session for me (3-4 times per day at work plus at night before I go to bed – In addition to me going to nurse him at daycare every day on my lunch break).
  • Constant battle of distraction/fussiness during lunch nursing sessions.
  • Double ear infection right before Thanksgiving.

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The One Thing You Should Say To A New Mom

Wherever we stand as mothers and our working/child raising situation, we all have haters. People who assume things about what we do and why we do it, and who judge our situations even if they don’t intend to do so. These viewpoints are so outdated and divisive that I can’t even believe there are people who really think these things, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised anymore when it comes to people still believing ridiculous and archaic things.

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Just because I work full time, doesn’t mean I’m not a full-time mom.

I wrote this post about a month ago and was a little conflicted about sharing it. But here goes. It’s kind of ranty, but that’s how I was feeling at the time.

A good friend (single, no-children, male) recently asked me if I was “still doing the full-time mom thing” or if I’d gone back to work. My immediate response was, “Yes.” Yes, I’ve been back at the office for several months now. And, yes, I’m also a full-time mom. Then I started thinking about the language that is used to describe moms and motherhood. Stay At Home Mom. Work At Home Mom. Working Mom. Part Time Working Mom. Full Time Working Mom. There are probably other labels that I don’t even know about. What do you call a mom who owns her own business that has always been run out of her home, and still does that now, with a baby to care for? What about an artist who creates in an in-home studio, and also has two kids at home most days? There are so many different situations and scenarios for families and mothers and childcare, it’s kind of ridiculous to have labels for everything. And what do all of these women have in common? They are ALL full-time moms!!!! However, this label seems to be reserved for moms who stay at home (working or not) and have their children at home (not in daycare).

Now, I know he meant to distinguish between staying at home vs. working outside of the office, but as someone who pays attention to language and words and semantics a lot, that kind of hit home for me, and got me thinking about the words we use to talk about motherhood.

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Do I have to feel guilty to be a good mom?

So apparently this whole guilt thing doesn’t get any better as kids get older. When I went out Saturday night, I was talking about mom guilt with a friend, one of the other band wives, who is a parent of three daughters ranging in age from college to 6th grade. She touched on some of the things she felt guilty about when her kids were younger, and things she still feels guilty about today… even though her oldest is away at college and is doing her own very adult thing. THERE’S STILL MOM GUILT WHEN THEY GO TO COLLEGE! While that may not be comforting at all, at least I know that I’m not alone. Mamas, you are NOT alone in your guilt!

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