It’s 2016 and I have a 10-month-old! He is freakin adorable and generally incredibly happy and healthy. He crawls, he eats an amazing amount of solids (yay baby led weaning) and he’s quite the social butterfly. But holy crap, the issues/concerns/guilt/worry just never stops, does it? This is going to be going on until he’s 40, right?

In between the smiles, cuddles and giggles, here’s a rundown of our last month or so, in rough chronological order –

November

• Extreme drop in my milk supply, which means an extra pumping session for me (3-4 times per day at work plus at night before I go to bed – In addition to me going to nurse him at daycare every day on my lunch break).
• Constant battle of distraction/fussiness during lunch nursing sessions.
• Double ear infection right before Thanksgiving.

December

• Five teeth (and counting).
• Right before Christmas – another double ear infection, pink eye AND a virus (they said HFM, but I’m skeptical on that 0ne).
• Congestion/cough/stuffy nose and angry diaper rash start, and have been going on about 2 weeks now.

January – Happy New Year!

• Weird feeding patterns (ie, not drinking all of his bottles at daycare for the first time ever) – is he going to drop a nursing session? How do I figure that out with his bottle schedule, nursing, pumping, etc?
• Sudden, sharp nipple pain for 2-3 days when nursing. Is it his teeth? Is it a blocked duct? Is it thrush? (Googles) Oh dear lord, please don’t let it be thrush. Ugh, why did I look at those google image search results!?!?
• Nipple pain disappears. Ummm, OK.

Yesterday & Today

• Follow up ear check yesterday, and there’s still fluid/infection. The doc prescribed Flonase. Consulted Dr. Google and now I’m a little freaked out. Seeking a 2nd opinion. No steroids up the nose for him yet.
• Last night, he wakes up around 11 SCREAMING bloody murder and could not be consoled. I mean, we’ve only heard this scream maybe once in his life. It’s heartbreaking. Is it his ears? No, he’s nursing and that would hurt them worse, right? His teeth? Doesn’t seem like there are any new ones coming through. Fever? Nope. Does he need to poop? He hasn’t pooped today, has he? Unless he did at daycare? But he’s not straining or grunting, so maybe not? Is his diaper rash that bad? Diaper cream helped a little. Asked my husband to bring a sippy cup of water, and J drinks it as if his life depends on it, and then is his usual, happy self. So….. he was just thirsty? Was that it. WAS THAT IT?!????!!!??
• After about an hour of this and once he’s hydrated, he goes back to sleep. But not me. As exhausted as I am, I lie awake for another hour, worried about all of these things. The ears, the eating, my pumping, the Flonase, we need more/better sippy cups for water, the poop. And guilt, because I didn’t give him enough water, and because I’ll be going to work the next morning instead of spending quality time with him and closely observing every single movement to be sure he’s okay.
• This morning, he’s his normal self. He finally has a poop after crawling around a bit. Send him to daycare with a sippy cup and a plan for me to skip his midday nursing session and see how things go. Are we figuring it out?
• Turn on my car to defrost and ready to get to work and get on with my day …. and it runs out of gas. In the driveway.

Can I stop adulting now?